6 Basic Communication Mistakes to Avoid
After reading several books and blog posts on communication skills, I realized there are some fundamental communication mistakes that people often make in daily life (including myself).
This article lists 6 common communication mistakes and practical methods to overcome them:
Always dismissing others' opinions
How would you feel if, throughout a conversation, every single opinion you shared was dismissed or refuted by someone else? — I bet you would feel quite uncomfortable.
Constantly dismissing (or refuting) others' opinions is a common communication mistake among people with big egos. When falling into this communication trap, the other person will tend to wrap up the conversation early because their views are not being given adequate respect.
Moreover, this communication style easily sparks unnecessary disagreements and friction.
Solution: Before passing judgment, listen to the other person's entire story. If you want to show them that their perspective may be mistaken, simply share your viewpoint and let them figure it out on their own.
Talking too much about yourself
Talking endlessly about yourself without giving others a chance to participate in the conversation signals that: "I don't care about what others have to say."
Much like always dismissing others' opinions , dominating a conversation with your own stories is seen as disregarding what others have to offer. This inadvertently builds a barrier that makes the other person want to end the discussion quickly, leaving them with little interest in starting a conversation with you in the future.
Solution: We have two ears and one mouth — apply that ratio to our conversations: listen to two things before speaking one. Doing so shows others that you genuinely care about their stories and makes you far more engaging in their eyes.
Interrupting others
This communication mistake happens to almost everyone, especially in two scenarios:
Disagreeing with what someone said and wanting to counter immediately.
Engaging in an exciting conversation filled with great ideas, where we can hardly wait to share the thoughts popping into our heads. That inadvertently prevents others from finishing the story they are telling.
Interrupting others is impolite, and the degree of impoliteness depends on the context of the conversation. Regardless of whether it is considered mildly or severely rude, most people have little interest in speaking with someone who constantly interrupts.
Solution: Practice self-discipline by letting the other person finish their thought before chiming in.
Sharing too much negativity
Words have the power to transmit positive (as well as negative) energy to those around us. Every day, we are already surrounded by overwhelming negativity from the media, family pressures, and work demands. Do you think people have the capacity left to absorb even more negative complaints from us?
Constantly complaining and venting about your personal hardships drains a tremendous amount of energy from both the listener and yourself. Not only does it fail to solve your problems, but it also creates an invisible wall between you and everyone else.
Solution: Only discuss negative topics when the other person is genuinely prepared to listen. Otherwise, build the habit of focusing on positive matters to uplift both your own spirits and those of the people around you.
Using your phone while conversing
Checking or using your phone during a conversation sends an implicit message: "My online chats and the information on my phone are more important than this conversation with you."
This is a modern mistake born in an era where smartphones permeate every aspect of life. Because smartphones feel indispensable and we use them constantly, we often downplay and overlook how disrespectful this habit is.
Solution: Simply put your phone away and turn it on silent or off when speaking with someone.
Failing to listen attentively
This often happens when something suddenly catches your eye while you are talking . It might be a more attractive passerby, or it could simply be that the person talking to you feels monotonous...
Not paying attention to what the speaker is trying to communicate inadvertently causes them to lose face. Like the other communication mistakes mentioned, failing to listen attentively makes you appear far less engaging and considerate in the eyes of others.
Solution: If you no longer wish to continue the conversation, stay focused until they finish what they are saying, then politely excuse yourself. Show that you are professional and respect the words of those around you.
Bottom lines
We often receive back what we put out into the world. When we present ourselves as mindful communicators who treat others with respect, people will naturally appreciate the moments they spend talking with us.
The 6 basic communication mistakes covered in this article are traps we all easily fall into in daily life. Hopefully, by keeping these solutions in mind, we can avoid them in the future and become far more engaging conversation partners.
Thank you for reading my article!
Kim,
15/01/2023